Intense but not In-Tense!

Lone!
The only four letters common between three big and heavy words which have been taking their own importance at different phases of My life, namely: Alone, Lonely and Loner...Alone, Lonely and Loner are three synonymous yet totally
different meanings altogether...
Its pretty personal to post it here, but I think its My creative outlet to a negative feeling which is great according to Me on a platform like a blog, where anyone can read it, but its easy to skip... In that way, expression of the feeling comes and the content comes that I blurted out what I felt...
Alone means plain alone... (al ONE), No one around to share anything with, a bad but a totally helpless state. A less of psychological but moreover physical period. Its the time which no one will ever understand about what you were doing, what was your state of mind, What was the expression of Your face,When You thought about being alone, When You consoled Yourself no You aren't alone, but yes You were! When You cried *if You did*, When You smiled after that on Your own,When You felt strong that You don't need anybody to be with to spend Your time, then collected Yourself that No.. I can't be alone, I don't deserve to be... Its a period of time which goes slow, makes Your world go upside down, at least it makes You feel that even though not true... But for a fact it's for a very short span, as in like an hour or two, Maximum One whole day! Its like an Examination Going on which has a difficult question paper and You never studied for it...
It makes You respect Every one You have in Your life, be it Your Not So Good Friends, Your Colleagues who aren't as cool as You are but are there, YOUR WATCHMAN who smiles at You and opens the door... Yes am serious! It can be a bit devastating for someone who is new to it, You can break down on the graveness of the fact that, "Man am actually actually actually alone for an hour" It can make you check out every thing on the road, observe all kind of strangers around, *comes the worst* make You check your contact list of Five Hundred People yet find no one to accompany You for the current moment, it can make You post sad things on The Internet, if you are stranded alone at an unknown place, but blessed with Mobile GPRS... It's when You see a ray of hope in every slight movement in Your surroundings thinking that its Your cell phone which is going to ring now.. But to Your despair... All Alone... A bad period, but frankly motivating You to be Happy when You have something, teaching You to respect what You have, because there are still many things You have but some people may be deprived of! The best part about this is that it makes You realize how important it is to think about Yourself,but still respecting everything in The world with all humility... Its an intense and short period but sometimes really necessary for a reality check of the certainty and uncertainty involved in a journey called life, which is beautiful but You will only realize when something ugly happens!
Lonely means alONE with company... Doesn't happen too much with me for the sole reason that I just stated above about the respect thing You learn of being alone... But still being lonely is like being in a swimming pool and still feeling all dry. Its like totally not acknowledging what You have, its the worst feeling that You can go through, or make yourself go through, because you are just being rude to who is around you, or maybe the reason for your loneliness is the person or the group of people around you. Sometimes You think about things which some one else with a different state of mind would never understand, or you are expecting things from people who don't want to do it for you, or maybe they want to do it for you, but don't know that you want it from them... Basically, when the people you are with just don't understand what you need, what you are thinking, what is your state of mind, why is that frown on your face, why is that smile not there, why is there no expression, why is there no sound... Its like you being in a swimming pool, wanting to be not dry, but the water in it doesn't understand that it needs to comfort you with its moisture, and cool you down with its temperature... That's when You should pity yourself for not being communicative or for being around people who aren't of your type... But the most important part of this occasion *feels guilty about terming it as an occasion* or series of occasions or maybe an entire phase of Your life is its like Your Open-House day when You get Your results, its like being too ignorant at studies(not acknowledging what you have), or scoring bad in some subjects(having the wrong kind of people around with whom you can't score well) or maybe just being weak(unable to understand the reason of the communication gap) or maybe all of these... This may sound as the most unexciting experience, but it will always allow You to look at a situation from all aspects of it, making You Pro-active, I know its not necessary to go through all of this, but its a great learning than just a bad experience...
Loner... The odd man out.. The only one of the three to not be a phase but a self imposed exile! A Loner is a person who WANTS to be ALONE AND LONELY... I have myself been that for a reasonable period of time, I think the compulsion of loneliness that You impose on Yourself comes up as Your Self-Defense Mechanism, when You have been Alone, Have been Lonely and all of that... Its time You assess what's wrong,if nothing seems to be wrong then what are supposed to be the corrective measures necessary to avoid any of these in future... Its like When Mumma and Paapa scold You after scoring low in your exams, You just keep on staring at Your Report Card and try to find out whats wrong and what could have been the report card like, "I think an extra dose of marks in History and an A++ in Computers would have looked Good"
For all the assessment you do, I think there is a vacation because obviously You need to know where you were wrong, if at all You were... This gives You protection for sometime because You be Alone on Your convenience not because of a weak moment or an unforeseen unavoidable situation... No one can harm You by not understanding You, Nor can You harm Yourself by being with the wrong people....
I think the Loner part is the easiest to say but the most difficult thing to stick to, because of the variety the world and the people cater to You... You are bound to be tempted *keeps on happening with me no details to post* Its a dilemma kind of a feeling which always tempts You even though You know this Self Trust Exercise is necessary... It reminds You dialogues *ahh... My favorite part* from all kinds of movies like the one from Dhoom Two By Hrithik, Which says that You should only trust Yourself and nobody else.. Or the one from Bachna Ae Haseeno By Ranbeer which explains Minnisha Lamba to open the doors of Love for the world is not that bad A Place to be... Its Totally How You end up conquering the Win-Win situation where if You are Hrithik , You are the Smartest Person,and When You are Minnisha You listen to Ranbeer and allow Yourself to repeat some mistakes, Coz You never know History May Not Repeat Itself....

p.s: This is all a chronology of events happened in my life, and not necessary may happen with You... At least not in the same Chronology...

Wish You All, All The Content And Happiness In Life...
Take Care Guys! :-)